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Again, i don't know what to right in here. I'm just messed up..Earlier today I got my grade and retorika blew my chance on becoming a dean's lister by just around less than 3 points. As I have said last night, I'm also confused with my feelings,,yes I have somewhat confirmed that she already had a boyfriend. At first I was like "ah, ok" but it had sinked in now,, as of this writing I just stopped crying and soon I might cry again. All I want to do now is to watch One More Chance and let the movie ease what I am feeling right now. I guess with this thing I was extremely wrong. I won't blame her for what's happening with me now, the only person to be blamed for this is me! I have fallen so much that nothing was left for me.I'll try to rebuild myself as early as posssible. I hope that the California trip next month would help me fix myself. I'll start a journey of more than 10000 miles, and 12 hours long to help me rebuild myself..But still, i must admit, I still love her..and I hope,,after this feeling has gone away,, someone will fill this empty spot..Yet she's very significant in my life, she melted my stone heart..