harder than you know..

I really don't know how to put this post in order. All I want to do right now is to cry and cry until I can already make up a river but I can't. I can't because first it's impossible and even tough my eyes are filled with tears now, it seems that my tear gland stops the tears from pouring. I want to cry for a very simple yet important matter, as usual her.

I checked on my messenger just moments ago. I didn't saw that she's currently online. Well as my curiosity over threw my thoughts, I checked on a site whether if she's online or not. It showed that she's online but on my profile she isn't..why could be the reason?

current status: confused,,i just want to cry,,i think she already knows,,and i must admit that i my mind thinks that 55% that she already has a boyfriend..

what i realized in this situation is that i should have never fallen in love with her so deeply..i guess it's time to move on but..something stops me from doing that..my brain says that i should move on,,but my heart says i shouldn't..now i believe what they mean with that line..well,,i believe on it now..i'll just observe some more instances and if it won't change,,i will move on..:'(

i remembered what my friend, Farrell(the poem's composer) said to me that maybe a better person would come along our lives..also what Popoy said on One More Chance to his friend that,"kayta tayo iniiwan ng mga taong mahal natin ay dahil mayroong mas magandang darating sa buhay natin.."

well i can now really say that she's the only exception cause she's the first girl that i seriously love and i've fallen to stupidity just to keep this feeling alive..:(

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NOTE:

I just discovered that ym is like having a problem,,she's now just invisible,,just like me,,haha..well,,she's always invi in ym,,just like also me..xD